I have little to no interest in video games. In fact, I have such a low interest level that I'm not even sure of the correct lexicon when talking about video games.

Are will still saying "joy stick" these days?

Or have I just dated myself as badly as the time I sang all the words to the "Two all beef patties" song while moon walking?

Okay, sometimes I do play Poppit on the Interweb.

My kids, of course, adore video games.

And, of course of course, they adore video games more than most kids because in our house we don't have cable television and we severely limit any screen time at all, be it big like plasma T.V. or small like digital wristwatch. I used to have some very good and articulate reasons for limiting screen time, but my children have since convinced me that I only disallow television and computer time because I am an evil control-freak overlord, and come to think of it, they are actually right.

Phew! That honesty feels refreshing!

Anyway, when I told them that they would need to help me review the VTech V.Smile Cyber Pocket for Parent Bloggers Network, and to do so they would have to play video games non-stop for a week, they immediately covered me in sloppy kisses - after, of course, jabbing me with a fork to check to see whether I had been surreptitiously replaced by a cyborg. (Are we still saying "cyborg" these days?)

In the spirit of full disclosure, here is the extent to which I even came in contact with the VTech V.Smile Cyber Pocket: I brought the package into the house.

At that point, it was out of my hands, and the 7yo and 9yo took control: They opened the box, they opened the packaging, they read the directions, they installed the batteries, they hooked it up to the television, and then they argued over whose turn it was next.

Now, right there is a good recommendation for this new-fangled screen-toy thingy. There is a very low level of parental start-up after the shelling out of cash and before the divvying out of unappealing chores as punishment for arguing over whose turn it is next.

The V.Smile itself isn't quite pocket-sized if you ask me - unless you have a pocket the size of a female kangaroo's - but I suppose size is relative in the video game world. It's much smaller, for instance, than an arcade-sized Space Invader's machine.

Space Invaders...? No?

It's also pretty rugged for something so pink and filled with tiny wires and tubes. Our V.Smile has already traveled 100 miles and was at one point accidentally stuffed into the back of a minivan under a bag of kitty litter. So far, so good!

So, after a week or so of almost constant use, I was ready to hear my test subject's reviews...as soon as I could pry them away from the V.Smile.

So, how many games are on here?

9yo: Tons! Learning Adventure has four games, then there's Quick Play and a singing game with a mic and Learning Zone has three games....

7yo: Yeah! Lots!

Tell me about this game you're playing right now. (The V.Smile was hooked up to the television, although there is also an internal screen for on-the-go play.)

9yo: Language Learning. There's three levels. With the easiest, you just fill in the missing letter.

7yo: I'm playing the hardest level where you have to make your character walk around and try to find the other character with the opposite word.

9yo: Yeah. And that's Dr. UFO

7yo: We call him "Dr. Unidentified Farting Object"

Mom: I'm so proud.


So, are you learning anything?

9yo: Well, most of the stuff I already know. But it's cool! It's fun anyway!

7yo: Yeah, fun!

9yo: Well, I did learn about different landmarks in the one puzzle. Like some castle in Spain and windmills in the Netherlands.

7yo: I learned a lot of opposites.

9yo: And the Math Maze on the highest level you have to do multiplication and then know greater than or less than. I learned all that in second grade, but it's still good practice. And fun!

7yo: Yeah! Fun!


What's the hardest game?

9yo: Junkyard Jigsaw. That's where you have to find different geometric shapes to make an object.

7yo: Dr. UFO keeps getting in my way. Oh! And Corncrop Maze is hard, too.


What age would you say this is good for?

7yo: I think you have to be at least six years old. Sometimes, it's hard to use the little screen and get the people to go where you want. You should be six to do that.

9yo: Yeah, I'd say six or seven. The little screen is hard to see the stuff on it. And the hard games are really hard. You should be able to read a little.


What do you like best about the V.Smile?

7yo: Zayzoo is cute!

9yo: Yeah, Zayzoo is really cute! And the games are educational and funny.


What would you change about the V.Smile?

9yo: The colors are hard to see on the little screen.

7yo: The little pen moves around too much, too quickly. Also, sometimes the one guy throws spiky balls at you and you can't jump or go faster!

9yo: I'd add a test to see what you learned at the end.

Mom: So you'd include some sort of instrument to measure knowledge acquisition?

9yo: Huh?

Mom: Never mind.

9yo: Oh yeah, and I hate to have to say this, but sometimes the characters act a little...dumb.

Mom: How so?

7yo: You know. Koo koo. Weird. They dance around and act all...

9yo: All "Waaaaaaaaaaaah!" (Demonstrating by dancing around like a frozen chicken.)

Mom: Is that a big problem?

9yo and 7yo: (In unison, lest I think I've just been given reason to take the game away from them.) NO!


So, how would you rate the V.Smile overall?

9yo: Not really for nine year olds, but still a lot of fun! Cool!

7yo: Great! I love it! Two thumbs up!


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So, all in all, a hit with my kids. Now, I'm not sure how the low-tech graphics and educational games would fare with more tech-savvy or tech-abundant kids, but if you're living a lifestyle that more closely approximates Little House on the Prairie instead of Downtown Pac Man City...Pac Man? No? Crickets?...the V.Smile should make your kids' week. Or at least their next long car trip.

I'm not so much of an ogre that I don't allow screens on long car rides.

No matter what my kids will tell you.

Can you believe it's that time of year again?!

Did you write your wish list and send it in a cardboard carton to The Great Yolker?

No?

Well I did! I asked for an omlette and a souffle and an egg timer and a dictionary.

Why a dictionary?

Well, maybe then I'd learn the correct spelling of "frittata" before I go ahead and spend five hours making a World Egg Day video and then another 2 hours uploading it onto You Tube.

But the deed is done. Although a few confused souls at Cooks.com seem to agree with me.

Anyway...you spell frittata, I spell fritatta...no matter how you spell it, here is a world egg dish from Italy...or maybe Spain, depending on how you Google...that is so, so easy and Bonus! you can basically switch out ingredients like this and like that and add potatos or potatoes, whichever you prefer to spell.

The recipe I used is from Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Homeand is found on pages 292-293. I'll transcribe it below, but basically you could swap out any cold pasta for the potatoes, and add just about any other sort of vegetable as long as you saute it good and...good.

Instead of cheddar cheese on top, add a little spinach and feta. Or how about some pepper with them thar onions?

And although we did buy garlic in the video, somehow I forgot to add it later when we were cooking.

NOTE: Mince garlic and use it liberally. More garlic is your friend, and will reveal your own true friends. The more you eat garlic, the more the hangers-on drop off.

But what am I talking about?!

The star of the day is THE EGG!

Coming to you from The Egg Board and the good folks at Parent Bloggers Network, we present Madame Halushki and her adorable assistants, Prima and Seconda, in the Internet premier of World Egg Day (featuring PeeWee Chicken)!



Simple Frittata (or Fritatta if you want to be a cool kid)

• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil or butter or combination
• 1 medium potato, cut into quarters and thinly sliced
• 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
• 1 1/2 tsp chopped fresh marjoram, basil tarragon, rosemary, or oregano
• 1 garlic clove minced or pressed (optional)
• 4 large eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup grated cheese (optional)
• salt and ground black pepper

Heat the oil in a large skillet. Saute the potatoes and onions covered, stirring frequently, for about 8 minutes, until they are tender and golden. Stir in the herb and optional (My note: Pssht...optional my eggshell) garlic. Pour the beaten eggs over the sauteed vegetables, tilting the pan to distribute them evenly. Sprinkle on the cheese and salt and pepper to taste. Cover the pan and cook on low heat for 10 minutes, until the eggs are set and golden on the bottom.

To brown the top of the frittata: If your skillet is flameproof, simply place the frittata under a preheated broiler for about 2 minutes. Otherwise, carefully slide the frittata onto a plate and then flip it over, back onto the skillet, to brown the other side. (Me again: buy a freakin' flameproof skillet.) To serve, cut the frittata in half.

Me one more time: I guess I added that tomato all on my own. I'm super!)

Per serving:316 calories, 11.3 g protein, 16.7 g fat, 30.6 g carbohydrate, 149 mg sodium, 282 mg cholesterol

Although we cut it into many pieces and ate with a salad and bread, so you figure it out.

HAPPY WORLD EGG DAY!

Feliz Día Mundial del Huevo!
Buon giorno a base di uova mondo!
愉快的世界蛋天
Oeuf! Oeuf! Oeuf!