This review brought to you by Parent Bloggers Network and Maranatha Nut Butters.

If I told you how much peanut butter we ate in this house, you’d say, “Nope. I just don’t believe it!”

Because you’re skeptical like that. And that’s why I like you.

But in this case, the preposterous also happens to be true.

We eat hella peanut butter!

First of all, it’s one of the few (i.e. only) proteins that one of my children will eat. I know, I know…spoilt brat, put a hunk of sushi in front of her and when she gets hungry enough she’ll eat it, kids starving in West Virginia, etc.

Listen. There’s just no putting that genie back in the bottle. Here. Read this when you’re done with the peanut butter review.

I will say that as a health conscious wanna-be, I was a bit alarmed to read the label of our favorite store brand (because we’re poor cheap like that) peanut butter to find that it contained not only corn syrup, hydrogenated rapeseed (!), and molasses, but also peanut oil AND peanuts as well!

Don’t the peanut butter manufacturers know how dangerous peanuts can be?

And yet they just add them willy-nilly to peanut butter like they’re going out of style instead of treating them like the bloodthirsty killer they are.

Peanut butter in the library with a beaker of salmonella!
Peanut butter will rot your mind!
Peanut butter, up your nose with a rubber hose!

But but but but but...we LOVE peanut butter!

Why without peanut butter, a PBJ is just a J. Without peanut butter, a peanut butter cup is just an empty chocolate shell. Without peanut butter, we’d live our lives forever with gum in our hair.

Well, until the good scientists at Amalgamated Plastics and Other Fake Foods can create a refined petrochemical-soy substitute for peanuts, we’re just going to have to take our chances with the real thing.

However, while taking our chances, we thought we’d hedge our bets a bit and check out some health food peanut butter. Namely, Maranatha brand organic peanut butter.

Now, in the past, my attempts to trick my children into being more safe and healthy have failed miserably (e.g. bike helmet made of concrete, Brussels Sprout cupcakes, telling them swimming pools were filled with dead bug pee, etc.) Our experience with healthy peanut butter, specifically, lead us to believe that any peanut butter that had to be refrigerated was the equivalent of cardboard spackle, both in texture and taste.

So, when I took the straight-forward approach and told them that they would be taste testing some healthy peanut butter against our favorite store brand, one child immediately hid under her bed, the other child immediately came down with a stomach virus, and the third child took off his diaper and wore it on his head in protest.

I was not deterred.

The sick child got a bye to move on to the popsicle and BRAT diet round.

The eldest child was less than enthusiastic, but after much cajoling and a not-so-subtle threat, was enjoined to be a good sport and play along.

The youngest child threw his diaper at the cat.



Taste Test

We blind taste-tested three different nut butters:

Maranatha Organic No Stir Peanut Butter, creamy style

Local store brand peanut butter, creamy style (our usual)

Maranatha All Natural No Stir Almond Butter, creamy style

For our taste test, each nut butter was spread on a slice of whole wheat toast.

I guess we should have taste-tested another brand of organic no stir peanut butter as a comparison, but basically, we’ve not had much luck with those, and if you think I was going to open yet another jar of peanut butter, you’d be high on aflatoxin mold. As it is, I’ve stretched our monthly meal plan to include recipes for Thai Peanut Sauce and Peanut Butter Cheese Steaks.

So! How did our blind taste test go? Well, listen to what our reviewer had to say!


Maranatha Organic No Stir Peanut Butter, creamy style

“Very smooth. Tastes not a lot like nuts, but not too little. It’s enjoyable! It’s fresh and light! Feels like a lot when it’s not. I would name this peanut butter Nuttyfresh Delight.”

Local store brand peanut butter, creamy style

“No nutty taste, although there are some parts where I can taste the bread, so it’s thin. I can also taste some parts that I don’t know what they are. I would name this peanut butter Thin Butter.”

Maranatha All Natural No Stir Almond Butter, creamy style

“It tastes like almond butter. Like peanut butter no. 1 it is enjoyable. I would call it Almond Joyful Extreme.”


Well! Looks like our taste tester was sold on Maranatha Organic nut butters of all species! Store brand, not so much. Unless you like peanut butter that doesn't taste so much like...anything.


No Stir

As the opinion of the butter spreader, I will say that the Maranatha no stirs seemed just as smooth as our stir-free regular store brand, and that was even after sitting in a cold car all night. I have no worries that refrigeration would turn the peanut butter into a cement cylinder. It won't.

The almond butter did have a bit of oil on the top, but if you’re going off the board for almond butter, I’d think you’d want something a little more exotic, something that really allows you to experience the nut butter.

I don’t actually mind stirring nut butters, but then again, I don’t get a lot of exercise otherwise.


Nutrition

All three of the nut butters seemed to stack up about the same. A serving size of 2 tablespoons got you 190 calories, with 150 of those calories coming from fat, 140 fat calories for the Maranatha No Stir Peanut Butter.

Sodium was lowest in the almond butter (65 mg) and highest in the store brand (160 mg), with Maranatha Organic No Stir Peanut Butter at 70 mg.

Sugars were 3 grams for each, but the Maranatha brands did not contain corn syrup. (I know some people hate corn syrup with a white hot passion, so I thought I’d include this information.)

The almond butter kicked serious butt in the protein ring with 8% to the 4% of the other nut butters. It also had more calcium (8% compared to 2%) and a listing of 40% for vitamin E and 20% for magnesium.


Safety

For those concerned about safety, check out Maranatha's FAQ page.

Maranatha isn't pulling any punches and there's a lot of open information on their website about the safety and nutrition of their nut butters.

After filtering through it all, I can honestly say that I'd feel comfrotable feeding my family Maranatha nut butters, even without a cement bike helmet.

Price

Well…here’s the rub. If you eat a lot of nut butter and you're living on a strict budget, the store brand is going to win every time. In our Central Pennsylvania grocery store, the Maranatha organics rang in a $4.89 for the peanut butter (16 oz.) and $4.89 for the almond butter (12 oz.)

I know you can’t put a price on good health, but high prices on most organics make it difficult to feed a family of five on a strict organic diet, even when we do cut down on pre-packaged foods and pound our own hummus.

On top of that, let’s face it: sometimes organic or “health foods” taste…well… different. All that lack of salt and sugar and the mind-tingling, mouth-watering goodness of lard is hard to get around if it’s something that you got used to eating in the first place. It’s then even more difficult to take the $4.89 risk that your family is going to like this new-fangled and good-for-them product. And spoonfuls-of-sugar to make the medicine go down are kind of not the point.

One trick I find works is to mix the new with the old for the time being, and slowly decrease the old until everyone is enjoying the taste of the new.

Another fun time might be to have a New Product Taste Test Party with your friends. Everyone bring a tried-and-true real family tasted-tested and healthy alternative dish to a gathering and give it a try before you spend the $7.23 yourself for a head of organic kale, only to then watch it turn to slime in your refrigerator crisper because you can’t figure out what to do with it.

Otherwise, all things in moderation until you win Powerball. We'll probably continue to splurge for organic on those foods we eat most of and consistently.

An almond butter and jelly sandwich one day. A peanut butter cheese steak the next.

And you know you’re not so skeptical that you don’t want to try that.

I believe!

The Mothership is landing, y’all! And this time it’s pumping out the badbutt Minimoog bass lines to a LED light show that will Blow. Your. Mind.

Give it up for The Parent Bloggers Network and Sylvania PalPODzzz Portable Nightlight!

What’s that? You don’t NEED a nightlight?

Naw, naw, naw…now listen to me.

You may think you don’t need a nightlight, but this ain’t no ordinary nightlight.

Don’t believe me? Well then c’mon y’all! Let’s listen to what Mr. Funkadelic has to say about being a little kid and going to sleep at night.

What’s that Mr. Funkadelic?

You having trouble sleeping and you can’t find a beat?

What else you say?

You don’t just need a nightlight to scare away the bad vibes, you need a flashlight?

Well, ha da da dee da hada hada da da!

You outta be a toddler in our house, Mr. F, because we got it GOING ON with our glowin’, shinin’, ladybug nightlight/flashlight combo. And it will help you find the funk, let me tell you, it will find you all the funk you NEED!

Ho!

Shake your rump and shake your funk!

And if the power goes off, Mr. Funkadelic, don’t you never mind about that AT ALL because your mommy can hook you up to a beat that will not stop.

Even if The Mothership crash lands and takes out the 110 kV lines up and down the East Coast, your PalPODzzz™ Ladybug or Rocketship nightlight will turn into a flashlight auto-happeningly so that you can find the funk (and the bathroom in the middle of the night) IMMEDIATELY!

Good gawd!

All I'd ask, all I'd ASK, Sylvania, would be that you get on the goodfoot and funk me up solar style.

Whatever The Mothership runs on, man, whatever solar magic is going on up there, if you could get my nightlights and flashlights to un-plug completely and still keep shining, that would do me solid. Although 1W power consumption? Dang. I'm not going to complain too loudly.

My back-up dancers were diggin' it all night long.


P.S. My little dude was diggin' the Ladybug version of the nightlight. However, even the older sisters (7 years old and 10 years old) were buggin' over the buggy nightlight/flashlight . And if they don't miss any beats between now and April, they just might find their own PalPODzzz in their Easter baskets. Da groovy!

DreamBox! Brought to you by www.dreambox.com and The Parent Bloggers Network.

I have a dream.

I dream that the television is the parent.

How’s that for refreshing and embarrassing honesty?

I’ll go one step further - and mind you, this is coming from a person who until recently didn‘t even allow cable television into her home, and still thinks that the twelve channels we have is fourteen too many -

Some days, I have a dream about how great it would be if the television and the computer hung out together each morning over coffee and worked out an entertaining, age-appropriate, individualized, and enriching childcare schedule all on their own.

Don’t get me wrong: I’d love to spend endless hours alongside my kids as they explore and discover each and every nook and cranny of the new media - television and computer, iPods and cell phones. I want to be there with them in the comfy chair, guiding them away from danger spots, journeying with them on their never-ending quest to squeeze out five more minutes of screen time before I finally freak out about the pile of laundry still sitting in the baskets in their bedrooms and scream like a nut that the house is never clean and that I‘m going to give away all our screens to poor kids in China.

I want to be there to teach my children in the media-moment and engage them in critical discussions about this advertisement for more plastic crap or that depiction of girls as being powder-pink floof heads who only care about hair and nails and cute boys named “Cody” or “Jake“.

However, like most modern day suburban moms, I have things to do. Stuff. Important stuff. Just fill in the blank with some sort of far-reaching and heroic volunteer community service work, and imagine me doing it at some point during the week. Then there’s the cat vomit I’m always cleaning up. Oh, and the thing where I put food in a pot and boil it beyond recognition and serve it to my family…that takes up time, too.

And besides, if I have to watch one more kids show about cute boys or talking kittens or whatever, I’m going to intentionally fall down and hit my head. Hard.

So, I admit it. I sometimes choose my babysitters willy-nilly. You say you’re 12 years old, like to throw rocks at dogs, and you smoke two packs a day? But you can watch my kids for an hour while I run to the grocery store? Sold! You can show my kids bright shiny graphics and entrance them with a repetitive music that sounds not unlike a heart monitor in orgy with a gumball machine and a bike horn? And you’ll stop them from arguing with each other for a blissful half hour while I take the easy way out…and maybe a quick nap? I’m yours!

And what really went on while I was at the store or down for the count? I don’t know. They’re good kids, my lot…but still, I have the Not Knowing What They Were Learning From The Screen guilt. I still have the wish - the dream - that I could just let go of being a control freak and instead enjoy my parenting downtime. I dream that my kids will someday say with frank honesty, “My mom didn’t monitor everything I watched as a kid and look at me, I turned out okay” and that they utter this phrase from somewhere other than the locked side of state penitentiary .

I dream this.

And suddenly, I find that my dreams may, in part, come true. Thanks to DreamBox.

Thanks to DreamBox, I can now take comfort that at least some of my kids’ screen time will be used toward industrious and educational ends, and yet still be entertaining enough to keep them quiet through my nap time. I mean, check this out from the DreamBox Learning K-2 Math website:

• DreamBox individualizes learning through continuous assessment and adaptations during lesson game play. Lessons, hints, level of difficulty, pace, sequence, instructional tools, and many other aspects of the experience are tailored to help your child learn.
  
  
• It's a robust math curriculum, with over 350 lessons built on the National Council of Teachers of Mathematics standards.
  
  
• It builds understanding and confidence in math fundamentals being taught in the classroom, through in-depth focus on Number Sense and Computation.
  
  
• To enhance learning, students use virtual manipulatives rather than just clicking on an answer.

I don’t know New Math from Old Math from manipulatives from a cheese sandwich. But I do know this: at the end of three half-hour long sessions on the DreamBox website, my 2nd grader was diligently adding negative numbers along a number line, and I know for a fact that she didn’t know a negative number from a sandwich, cheese or otherwise, before she started.

As far as entertaining goes, the math adventures through pirate, pixie, dinosaur and pet lands actually lured my daughter from her sister’s gaming station (where, I believe, Lego Hans Solo was battling a Lego Ewok, so you know...entertaining!) so I’ll vouch for DreamBox’s claim that the games are “fun”.

My daughter, by the way, just raved and raved about the wide range of choices available for the animated character that would represent her on her math adventures. I thought the characters were cute, possibly even "funky" with hip hairstyles and, yes, “cool" outfits, but according to my daughter, I obviously didn’t fully appreciate the deep importance of having so many cute and funky characters to choose from. My daughter stressed that I simply must mention this point of vast variety in anime autonomy, and that other kids would think it's “awesome". So it’s been mentioned.


But more so than being entertaining, more even than being educational, I must thank DreamBox that I don’t have to give up being the dear control freak you’ve come to know and love.

After my daughter’s first session on DreamBox, I received an email.

And the email went like this:

Dear Madam Halushki,

Your daughter, Seconda, is off to a great start in DreamBox Learning! She has played for the first time and is currently learning to order and compare numbers up to 100.

When she began, her first game was actually a behind-the-scenes placement lesson that allowed us to start her at the right place in the math curriculum based on what she already knows and should skip, and what she should focus on. For example, Seconda demonstrated her understanding of comparing sets of up to 100 objects and making equations using comparison symbols (>, <, or =). You can find more detail on Seconda's progress in the curriculum on the Parent Dashboard, at play.dreambox.com! Your encouragement to keep playing is so important to Seconda’s success! She chose to play the Pets adventure – in this story she is finding and gathering all the kittens before supper is served! Be sure to ask her to show you the lesson games she has played, so you can celebrate her progress together . Research suggests that children will benefit most if they're coming back to learn regularly, for at least 15 minutes at a time. We encourage parents to try to make DreamBox a regular, healthy part of their child's schedule, playing 2 or more times each week. If you have any comments or questions, please don't hesitate to contact us at play@dreambox.com.

Warm regards,
The DreamBox Learning Team

Warm regards?

That was a freaking love note from my computer!

How’s that for a box of tubes and wires caring enough to let you know what your kid is up to?

And each time my daughter plays DreamBox, I get another email telling me what she’s been learning, what games she’s been playing, and how she’s progressing in math. (She’s doing swell, thank you very much.)

And now, oddly, I find myself in the awkward position of feeling a new guilt - the guilt that a computer program may know more about my kid than I do. Well...at least when it comes to her progress in using animated bunnies and a number line to work with negative numbers.

But you know what? It’s not a guilt I’m going to lose sleep over.

In fact…*yawn*…I’m going to hit the hay right now, to sleep - perchance to dream! - knowing that my kids are safe in the hands of DreamBox. Oh, so aptly named!

Just don't let them eat Oreos and Kool-Aid for lunch, DreamBox. That's still a no-no.

I have little to no interest in video games. In fact, I have such a low interest level that I'm not even sure of the correct lexicon when talking about video games.

Are will still saying "joy stick" these days?

Or have I just dated myself as badly as the time I sang all the words to the "Two all beef patties" song while moon walking?

Okay, sometimes I do play Poppit on the Interweb.

My kids, of course, adore video games.

And, of course of course, they adore video games more than most kids because in our house we don't have cable television and we severely limit any screen time at all, be it big like plasma T.V. or small like digital wristwatch. I used to have some very good and articulate reasons for limiting screen time, but my children have since convinced me that I only disallow television and computer time because I am an evil control-freak overlord, and come to think of it, they are actually right.

Phew! That honesty feels refreshing!

Anyway, when I told them that they would need to help me review the VTech V.Smile Cyber Pocket for Parent Bloggers Network, and to do so they would have to play video games non-stop for a week, they immediately covered me in sloppy kisses - after, of course, jabbing me with a fork to check to see whether I had been surreptitiously replaced by a cyborg. (Are we still saying "cyborg" these days?)

In the spirit of full disclosure, here is the extent to which I even came in contact with the VTech V.Smile Cyber Pocket: I brought the package into the house.

At that point, it was out of my hands, and the 7yo and 9yo took control: They opened the box, they opened the packaging, they read the directions, they installed the batteries, they hooked it up to the television, and then they argued over whose turn it was next.

Now, right there is a good recommendation for this new-fangled screen-toy thingy. There is a very low level of parental start-up after the shelling out of cash and before the divvying out of unappealing chores as punishment for arguing over whose turn it is next.

The V.Smile itself isn't quite pocket-sized if you ask me - unless you have a pocket the size of a female kangaroo's - but I suppose size is relative in the video game world. It's much smaller, for instance, than an arcade-sized Space Invader's machine.

Space Invaders...? No?

It's also pretty rugged for something so pink and filled with tiny wires and tubes. Our V.Smile has already traveled 100 miles and was at one point accidentally stuffed into the back of a minivan under a bag of kitty litter. So far, so good!

So, after a week or so of almost constant use, I was ready to hear my test subject's reviews...as soon as I could pry them away from the V.Smile.

So, how many games are on here?

9yo: Tons! Learning Adventure has four games, then there's Quick Play and a singing game with a mic and Learning Zone has three games....

7yo: Yeah! Lots!

Tell me about this game you're playing right now. (The V.Smile was hooked up to the television, although there is also an internal screen for on-the-go play.)

9yo: Language Learning. There's three levels. With the easiest, you just fill in the missing letter.

7yo: I'm playing the hardest level where you have to make your character walk around and try to find the other character with the opposite word.

9yo: Yeah. And that's Dr. UFO

7yo: We call him "Dr. Unidentified Farting Object"

Mom: I'm so proud.


So, are you learning anything?

9yo: Well, most of the stuff I already know. But it's cool! It's fun anyway!

7yo: Yeah, fun!

9yo: Well, I did learn about different landmarks in the one puzzle. Like some castle in Spain and windmills in the Netherlands.

7yo: I learned a lot of opposites.

9yo: And the Math Maze on the highest level you have to do multiplication and then know greater than or less than. I learned all that in second grade, but it's still good practice. And fun!

7yo: Yeah! Fun!


What's the hardest game?

9yo: Junkyard Jigsaw. That's where you have to find different geometric shapes to make an object.

7yo: Dr. UFO keeps getting in my way. Oh! And Corncrop Maze is hard, too.


What age would you say this is good for?

7yo: I think you have to be at least six years old. Sometimes, it's hard to use the little screen and get the people to go where you want. You should be six to do that.

9yo: Yeah, I'd say six or seven. The little screen is hard to see the stuff on it. And the hard games are really hard. You should be able to read a little.


What do you like best about the V.Smile?

7yo: Zayzoo is cute!

9yo: Yeah, Zayzoo is really cute! And the games are educational and funny.


What would you change about the V.Smile?

9yo: The colors are hard to see on the little screen.

7yo: The little pen moves around too much, too quickly. Also, sometimes the one guy throws spiky balls at you and you can't jump or go faster!

9yo: I'd add a test to see what you learned at the end.

Mom: So you'd include some sort of instrument to measure knowledge acquisition?

9yo: Huh?

Mom: Never mind.

9yo: Oh yeah, and I hate to have to say this, but sometimes the characters act a little...dumb.

Mom: How so?

7yo: You know. Koo koo. Weird. They dance around and act all...

9yo: All "Waaaaaaaaaaaah!" (Demonstrating by dancing around like a frozen chicken.)

Mom: Is that a big problem?

9yo and 7yo: (In unison, lest I think I've just been given reason to take the game away from them.) NO!


So, how would you rate the V.Smile overall?

9yo: Not really for nine year olds, but still a lot of fun! Cool!

7yo: Great! I love it! Two thumbs up!


------------------------------


So, all in all, a hit with my kids. Now, I'm not sure how the low-tech graphics and educational games would fare with more tech-savvy or tech-abundant kids, but if you're living a lifestyle that more closely approximates Little House on the Prairie instead of Downtown Pac Man City...Pac Man? No? Crickets?...the V.Smile should make your kids' week. Or at least their next long car trip.

I'm not so much of an ogre that I don't allow screens on long car rides.

No matter what my kids will tell you.

Can you believe it's that time of year again?!

Did you write your wish list and send it in a cardboard carton to The Great Yolker?

No?

Well I did! I asked for an omlette and a souffle and an egg timer and a dictionary.

Why a dictionary?

Well, maybe then I'd learn the correct spelling of "frittata" before I go ahead and spend five hours making a World Egg Day video and then another 2 hours uploading it onto You Tube.

But the deed is done. Although a few confused souls at Cooks.com seem to agree with me.

Anyway...you spell frittata, I spell fritatta...no matter how you spell it, here is a world egg dish from Italy...or maybe Spain, depending on how you Google...that is so, so easy and Bonus! you can basically switch out ingredients like this and like that and add potatos or potatoes, whichever you prefer to spell.

The recipe I used is from Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Homeand is found on pages 292-293. I'll transcribe it below, but basically you could swap out any cold pasta for the potatoes, and add just about any other sort of vegetable as long as you saute it good and...good.

Instead of cheddar cheese on top, add a little spinach and feta. Or how about some pepper with them thar onions?

And although we did buy garlic in the video, somehow I forgot to add it later when we were cooking.

NOTE: Mince garlic and use it liberally. More garlic is your friend, and will reveal your own true friends. The more you eat garlic, the more the hangers-on drop off.

But what am I talking about?!

The star of the day is THE EGG!

Coming to you from The Egg Board and the good folks at Parent Bloggers Network, we present Madame Halushki and her adorable assistants, Prima and Seconda, in the Internet premier of World Egg Day (featuring PeeWee Chicken)!



Simple Frittata (or Fritatta if you want to be a cool kid)

• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil or butter or combination
• 1 medium potato, cut into quarters and thinly sliced
• 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
• 1 1/2 tsp chopped fresh marjoram, basil tarragon, rosemary, or oregano
• 1 garlic clove minced or pressed (optional)
• 4 large eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup grated cheese (optional)
• salt and ground black pepper

Heat the oil in a large skillet. Saute the potatoes and onions covered, stirring frequently, for about 8 minutes, until they are tender and golden. Stir in the herb and optional (My note: Pssht...optional my eggshell) garlic. Pour the beaten eggs over the sauteed vegetables, tilting the pan to distribute them evenly. Sprinkle on the cheese and salt and pepper to taste. Cover the pan and cook on low heat for 10 minutes, until the eggs are set and golden on the bottom.

To brown the top of the frittata: If your skillet is flameproof, simply place the frittata under a preheated broiler for about 2 minutes. Otherwise, carefully slide the frittata onto a plate and then flip it over, back onto the skillet, to brown the other side. (Me again: buy a freakin' flameproof skillet.) To serve, cut the frittata in half.

Me one more time: I guess I added that tomato all on my own. I'm super!)

Per serving:316 calories, 11.3 g protein, 16.7 g fat, 30.6 g carbohydrate, 149 mg sodium, 282 mg cholesterol

Although we cut it into many pieces and ate with a salad and bread, so you figure it out.

HAPPY WORLD EGG DAY!

Feliz Día Mundial del Huevo!
Buon giorno a base di uova mondo!
愉快的世界蛋天
Oeuf! Oeuf! Oeuf!